Why does this seem so funny to me?

There are ways, though a bit more costly, for publishers to get what I like to call "a clean line of distribution" through Ingram and Baker & Taylor. The avenue I'm looking at just sent met his "welcome" message to describe why I should choose them:

Thank you so much for your interest in our book distribution service.

We will place your title information into Ingram and Baker & Taylor's

data base and this will create the avenue into the bookstores. We also

have the complete selling force for both the major book chains and

the independent stores to help create the orders. We would ask that you

have the publicity to help us in creating the customer demand.

I'm particularly moved by the line that says, "we would ask that you have the publicity to help us in creating the customer demand."

Right. Just keep in mind that any money I put into creating customer demand or publicity won't be toward getting books into bookstores especially when there's nothing to keep bookstores from returning books they've bought at a loss to me the author. My distributor won't lose any money. The bookstores won't be out anything except for postage which isn't much as most aren't even required to send the book back. All they have to do his rip off the cover to save on postage. The only person in this scenario who stands to lose money consistently is the provider of the product.

Ooooooh, sign me up for that!

Actually, I probably will sign up for this but I'll ask my distributor to make my books non-returnable as I've no desire for bookstores to buy my books. I just want them to be able to order them when I do signings. ;)